Change
I hate change. Why do things have to change? I get used to something new and then it changes. I really struggle with change. It takes me a while to get used to change.
My boyfriend has gone to university. I am so proud of him because he has achieved so much, proved people wrong, worked hard and achieved the grades he wanted but this means change. This means him moving to a new city, where he doesn't know anyone and making a life there. It means leaving the people he loves, knows, his whole life behind. I am a part of that life that has been left behind.
How do I feel? To be honest, I am struggling to come to terms with it. He only went down Saturday (yesterday) and I am an emotional wreck! I have cried on and off for the last 2 days. It just means my whole life changes too. We've been together for nearly two years now and the routine has roughly been the same every week (him staying over Thursday, spending the day together Friday, then seeing him Saturday or/& Sunday). This has now changed. I won't be able to see him every week and that's tough for me. I don't know what it is. I just feel I am a better person around him. He makes me smile, laugh, cry and just generally a happier person. I also just sleep better when he is there - I like the comfort. Now that has disappeared. How do I cope with all the changes?
I've been trying to keep busy but night time is the worst. When I am alone in bed and all I can think about is seeing him again.
It's hard because I don't want him to know that I am struggling with this change because I want him to enjoy the university lifestyle of going out, getting drunk - just generally having a good time but I also want to be able to speak to him and see him. University is what he has been looking forward to and I just want him to keep going but I just wish he wasn't so far away. Again, I would love to go down every week or every other week but that's just not fair on him. I don't know how often it will be but I just miss him so much.I hope things will calm down once I am used to this change. I just wish he was close. I still text him, we plan to phone and Skype as well but it's just not the same as the physical (being able to hug etc).
I love him and want to make this relationship work so I am willing to do what I can. I drive so I will be driving to see him when we both can and spending time together. It's up to him really when I go down because he has to settle in and feel comfortable. I just want this relationship to work between us.
I am hoping to go and see him in Bath in just under 2 weeks time. I can't wait.
If anyone has any tips of how to deal with this, or of things we could do in Bath, I would love to know. I want to make the most of the time we have together.
xxx
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